A Thief, A Liar & A Forger

Since I asked threeChildhood Photos 002 stellar women to share their stories with you, I figured it would be only fair if I shared my own.

I must confess, when I was younger I was a thief, a liar, and a forger. But because of my poor execution of each I decided to give up my life of crime in pursuit of more legal activities.

Thief
I used to have a little purse. (What little girl doesn’t?) And if I was in a store and I saw something cute and it fit in my purse, it was now mine. A couple occasions I can vividly remember being in Woolworth’s, holding a clear glass rock, feeling how smooth it was and then it right in my purse to play with later. My mother would discover my bounty when we got home.

Liar
At six, we lived on one side of a multi family home, owned by my grandparent, and various aunts and cousins lived on the other side. One day, I visited my great aunt’s apartment and noticed a cute little collectible spoon with a shiny red handle. (So, following the above rule, it was now mine.) I pocketed the spoon and went downstairs to visit my other aunt and to show off my new prize. My aunt, I could tell was suspicious, probably because she recognized the spoon. (Duh!) Still she asked me where I got it from and I lied and told her I found it. Sensing the jig was up, I snuck back home through the back door.

I hear my aunt go out to the front porch to speak to my mother. I know I’m going to get in trouble for lying and stealing so I hide, under my bed. My mother starts calling for me, and I don’t answer. Everyone is searching for me outside, calling my name.

I ONLY emerged when she came up the stairs desperately calling for me. I have no where else to go, so I come out my room as if nothing is wrong.

“Yes?”

My mother (who is eight months pregnant with my brother) sits on the stairs and cries and then my stepfather gave me the spanking of my life.

Forger
I had set a precedent of doing well in school. And now my mother would expect nothing less. When it comes to math, and even now still, I struggle. In third grade, I was in the top math class and I was failing. The failed tests had to be signed by a parent so they know what’s going on. I don’t even know how I thought of it but I practiced and started forging my mother’s name. And I messed up one time, didn’t think anyone would notice but my teacher did. I was caught.

The teacher gave me a letter to bring home to my mother and I was stressed out the ENTIRE rest of the day. I could barely function. How am I going to tell my mother I failed and I was signing her name? She is going to kill me. I was downright terrified!

I went home that night, never letting on what happened but made myself so sick I could not go to school the next day. Later, when my mother came home she asked if my teacher had given me something. I went under my bed where I’d hid the letter and gave it to her.

She told me the principal of the school called her to see if I was okay. They were worried about me because I was so scared. And when I didn’t come in (I had perfect attendance.) they feared I might have been abused.

I ended up not getting punished by my mother. She figured I had already tormented myself.

So now you know the truth about me! I suck at thievery, lying and forgery. And, I have an amazing talent of making things a whole lot worse in my mind than they are or ever will be. So much so if I don’t get a hold of myself I can literally make myself physically sick.

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