My ‘sick & tired’ moment arrived while I was sitting in a personal development class and the instructor said, “what area of your life have you struggled and struggled because you haven’t been willing to fully accept responsibility for it?” In an instant, my 270 pound body showed the answer before I could speak the answer.
Despite being educated, well-traveled, and professionally successful, I could not master or maintain a healthy weight. I had been on a billizion diets: cabbage soup, fish, high protein, no carb, and Weight Watchers to name a few. I looked everywhere for help but nothing seemed to work…for the long term. I would try and fail.
After years of frustration and living close to 300 pounds, I decided to have weight loss surgery which, at the time, seemed like the magic pill to end my life long battle with weight. I secretly had surgery, lost some weight, but never imagined I would become as sick as I did. Several months post surgery I struggled to keep food down…it was a miserable existence and didn’t quite have the fairy tale ending I anticipated.
Fast-forward 10 months after weight loss surgery and I was sick. Too sick to keep down food and, surprisingly, in more pain than I ever anticipated. Although this approach worked for some, it was not working for me. Despite all my hopes & efforts of being responsible, my visions of being a skinny diva quickly vanished. I slowly reached the conclusion that having weight loss surgery did not equally mean a free ride for me. Along that journey I felt alone, frustrated, and confused.
After years of dieting topped with being sick and uncomfortable beyond measure due to weight loss surgery, I found myself at a cross roads. I could see that I had always been looking for answers outside myself. I knew there had to be another path, another way because none of the old approaches worked. I realized I needed more sustainable, less harsh ways to care for myself.
Then I had an ‘ah-ha’ that I never had before: the physical weight was never really about the weight.
Thousands of dollars, heartache, struggle, and frustration that instantly let me see a new perspective.
The reality was I managed all my anger, happiness, sadness, anxiety, stress, and disappointment with food. Physical weight on my body was merely a symptom of deeper root cause.
When I realized this I slowed myself down and decided to release weight while dealing with, instead of stuffing down and eating, my emotions. This time my physical weight loss was to serve as a catalyst for my own mental, emotional, and spiritual awaking.
I have found relief from my symptoms because I am treating the cause. Healing past hurts and regularly dealing with current emotions has allowed me to release unwanted baggage of excess weight. Instead of beating myself up I choose (and am choosing) to take responsibility for all aspects of my life. I am rolling up my sleeves to deal with the past hurts and to simply be an educated and conscious food consumer.
Releasing weight, while also healing the deeper issues which cause overeating, has helped me find a place in life where I feel strong, full of energy and, well, quite happy. I now wholeheartedly believe weight loss/management is an ‘inside job’ requiring one to shift the relationship to self because, in reality, there are no fad diets, magic potions, sprinkle fairy dust that can keep weight off if your heart is heavy. Being physically healthy is about releasing the inner emotional weight that manifests itself as physical weight.
And as I’ve been healing and nurturing myself, I’ve also supported other women on their journey.
At the end of the day it doesn’t matter how much we know without action. If you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and do the inner work, you can regain your health and heal the weight. Right now is the time to be well, eat well, & live well.
Historical woman you admire and why
I most admire Amelia Earhart because of her bold independence and willingness to leap outside the boundaries set for women at that time. For those who may not know, Amelia was an American aviation pioneer and author. Earhart was the first female pilot to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean and although she did not succeed, I appreciate her radical spirit!
About the Author
Chief Healthinista, Tosh Patterson, helps smart & successful women shift from yo-yo dieting to healthy weight management by understanding the connection between food and emotions. She knows that, for many, healthy weight loss is about releasing the inner emotional weight that manifests itself as physical weight. Tosh provides simple strategies to be well, eat well, & live well. Virtually stalk her on her website at www.toshpatterson.com or on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoshpatterson