You don’t have to have it all figured out, no one else does!

For some reason there is this idea that we are all working towards that one moment when we have everything figured out. It’s not stated like that but it’s something that’s subtly ingrained in all of us.

You probably don’t even realize it but if I ask you what is your five-year plan and you don’t have an answer you are most likely going to wonder why you don’t and that you should. If I asked you why you feel you should have an answer, you might come back and ask me, doesn’t every one else have one?

No, they don’t.

But, we still believe it. Especially, when we are comparing our lives to someone else’s, which is a serious recipe for disaster. We look at the glamorous life they have or the things they have and think: Man, they must have it all figured out because their life looks so awesome. Yes, it does look awesome doesn’t it? But, you have no idea what struggles they are facing in their life. What they had to go through to get there or what they have to do to stay there.

And before we go any further let’s define what “having it all figured out” means. Usually when people say they have finally “figured it all out” they are declaring that they know exactly how they want their career, relationships and finances to look like and either have it the way they want it or are working towards it.

You have many, many years on this planet and there is no rule that states at a designated age you are supposed to have it all figured out. So, if this epiphany hasn’t hit you yet there is no need for concern. Many others are just like you and have no clue what they want to do with their lives. Each of us are on our very own time table. Be patient with yourself.

Where did this idea come from?
I’m guessing it started back in the olden days, maybe even cave days were there were so few options. Also, it wasn’t that long ago when we women were only allowed to be wives or secretaries. But that’s all changed and the possibilities are endless. We can do anything so it’s no wonder you can’t decide and no one said if and when you have to. (And, in the event you actually have someone literally telling you that you have to, ask them why?)

The truth is you may never have it all figured out. We are continuously learning and growing and what you may have thought was the answer may change as your interest change. It’s all part of the the process. So, just be cool where you are right now. The only thing to figure out is the next step you want to take that will make you happy. The rest will fall into place.

About ChaChanna

  • What a great article! I think what happens is exactly what you said: people see others’ “highlight reels” of life and get so caught up in them that they believe that everyone has everything all figured out but them, and that is so far from the truth. We have to learn to put blinders on and just focus on ourselves as individuals and keep that understanding that absolutely no one has *everything* figured out–there are always new challenges and bumps in everyone’s road with every turn. Thank you so much for sharing this important reminder! 🙂

  • ChaChanna

    Thanks for stopping by, Melissa! Yes, if we could only remember that we are looking at everyone’s finished movie and not the unfinished script we’d less alone.

  • I enjoyed this post, People often feel like they have to live up to other peoples lives. Comparing can get us into a lot of trouble. We end up chasing other peoples dreams and find ourselves unhappy. I like when you said, “So, just be cool where you are right now”. So true!